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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the notion that someone could abruptly cease communication with a lover without a word seemed like the peak of rudeness. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, finding a partner has only become more confounding – an frequently fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive guide to the terms this generation is using to discuss love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This refers to choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to pairs who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Personal quirks signaling a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your decision to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely harmless quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly kill any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic display.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {